Tonight there would be no CPR. I know often I promote the virtues of CPR, but it’s not always the answer and tonight was certainly one of those nights.

The overhead monitor was telling the tale. The patient’s blood pressure was currently 64/40 and the cardiac monitor was showing she was basically in asystole with a pulse measured sometimes in single digits per minute, sometimes a bit more. Right now only the drugs and fluids coursing into her were keeping her alive. Attached to her were the pads from the defibrillator.

At least twice the button on the defibrillator would be pushed and her body would jump as her muscles would spasm. She was dying. She had been dying all day. Her blood pressure and pulse had been up and down all day long. her body had been fighting to stay alive and a few hours ago it seemed like it might win the battle. But not now. Now it was just minutes instead of hours.

She had indicated she didn’t want CPR. So we stood there, waiting. For us she was a patient, but for the stranger in the room, she was his mother, she was the grandmother to his kids, the aunt to his cousins and the wife of his father. He watched, silently, a tear forming. The doctor was explaining to him what was happening and how she wasn’t in pain, but without the drugs her body would die in minutes, but meanwhile the drugs could keep her alive a bit longer if the rest of her family was on the way. They were. We left, as there was no more we could do in the meantime, and he needed to be alone with his mother more than he or his mother needed us.

I saw her family file into the room; quietly. I recall my own dad passing. Me sitting there, waiting for his final breath. More than once I thought his body had quit, but one more time he’d draw a breath. Finally he drew his last. I knew they’d watch the same thing.

It’s never an easy thing to have to say goodbye to a loved one. But sometimes you know it’s the right thing. Their body has given up the fight and to prolong it would only be a cruelty and indignity. Yes, perhaps with CPR and the right combination of drugs we could have given her another day, but it would have been a day of unconsciousness and sadness, not a day of joy and happiness, for her or her loved ones. Sometimes we just have to say good-bye. Tonight was such a night. She died surrounded with her loved ones, her ribs and cartilage intact, no bruises for the coroner to see, no sweat falling on her from techs giving her CPR. But she would did surrounded by her loved ones and that was right.

Disclaimer: My views and writings do not reflect those of my employer and in this case especially details have been fictionalized or altered.