I’m going to be a bit more open than I usually am in my blog posts. I think it’s time for a bit of transparency.

Let me start by saying that overall, despite the impact of Covid, the last 15 or so months have not been terrible for me. Far from it. In fact I’ve been very fortunate. So this post isn’t a rant or a series of complaints. It’s really a short reflection.

Last year for example, I biked more than I had in years, and in fact did my first century ride since college. I presented at PASS Summit for the first time, albeit virtually. I got to spend more time with my kids. Fortunately, no one close to me had a serious case of COVID nor died from it (though I had friends and former coworkers who did lose people close to them).

I even managed to organize and pull off a cave rescue training class late last summer. And of course just pulled off another weeklong course this month, and will help with another one in late August.

So overall, it’s been a pretty decent 15 months.

But lately I’ve noticed things aren’t necessarily where I want them to be. My motivation levels have been off. I’ve got at least 3-4 ideas for more articles for Redgate. But, I find myself finding reasons to put off writing them. I’ve got a few other projects that I haven’t made progress on. I need to finish tiling a backsplash in my bathroom, patch a hole in the wall in the downstairs bathroom from when I put in a fan, and a few more.

But honestly, the idea of launching into such projects just makes me go “bleah”.

I think too some of the frustration in my inability to attract new clients like I was hoping to this year has put me into the “bleah” mode, and of course in a vicious cycle caused me to put less effort into attracting new clients.

But, ultimately, I’m writing this post not because I’m looking for sympathy or for comfort, but ironically for the exact opposite reason. I find that often people hide the state of their emotional well-being and put on a happy façade, especially on social media, and as a result everyone goes around thinking that everyone else is doing better than they are themselves doing. So, I’m saying, “hey, I’m doing great, but you know what, there are days when life is ‘bleah’ and it’s ok. And if you’re having such days, or even worse, you’re not alone.”

Postscript: I want to add, if you haven’t, check out Steve Jones blog, he’s been daily posting a bunch of coping suggestions. I don’t read them every day, and I suspect Steve would agree with me that take what works for you and ignore the ones that don’t is the way to go. In part his posts helped inspire this one.