Monthly Archives: November 2025

Overcoming the Scarcity Mindset

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I realized years ago, that at times, I’m driven by what I might call a scarcity mindset. This isn’t just being frugal, but that’s definitely part of it. I don’t like wasting things. I can often be frugal. I’ve been known to drive the extra mile to save a penny a gallon on a tank of gas. I’ll buy in bulk often when I can.

No, the scarcity mindset to me is more of a “don’t let something to go to waste because you don’t know when you’ll be able to replace it.” Coupled with this, is “don’t buy something you won’t fully use.” That’s partly where the frugality mindset comes into play.

The above is a photo of green foam blocks that a florist might use. It’s an example of an early manifestation of my scarcity mindset. When I was a kid, I’m guessing around 6 or 7, I got my hands on one. I’m guessing it was left over from one my of aunt’s weddings. In any case, all I knew was I had one. And I didn’t know where to get more. I didn’t necessarily have a use for it. But because I only had the one, I didn’t dare use it or handle it too much, lest I wanted it later on for some more important reason. To this idea I have no idea what that reason that might have been, but still I didn’t use it. It was scarce to me. Why I never asked my mom where more could be found I’ll never know. Instead I simply held on to it. I never did end up using it and at some point it was lost. Now, of course years later, I know where I could get as many as I need or can afford.

But that mindset has stuck with me. I realized that earlier this semester when I decided I wanted to go old-school and start taking notes on some 3″x5″ index cards I had. I must have grabbed some from my office in New York before I moved into my apartment and set up my study area here. I started taking notes on them, but I was parsimonious at first since I only had 50 of them. Of course I knew where I could get more, but I didn’t have the time and I wasn’t sure how many I really wanted to buy. I finally went on to Amazon one night and realized I could buy a package of 500 for under $8.00. I of course being frugal, hunted for the least expensive pack of 500 I could find. But even then I resisted. “What if I don’t use them all? That’s a waste.” But I realized that $8.00 was a small drop in the bucket of my educational expenses and if they helped me pass some tests, it was a wise investment. And counter to that, if I didn’t spend $8.00 and failed a test, that wouldn’t be a wise savings. I’ll add that I’m now on my second pack of 500 and I’ve bought a dozen different index card boxes to hold them grouped by test and or subject.

There have been a few other items I resisted ponying up money for for school. One example is a subscription to ChatGPT. I at first tried to be frugal and use the free model, but I’d hit limits on usage. I’d question myself if it was worth paying the $23/month it would cost for a subscription. Now months later, I’m so glad I ponied up.

At times I still resist using something because “I don’t know how I’ll replace it” or “is it worth the cost of replacing it” but I’m overcoming that. Within limits, I’m trying to get into the mindset that yes, spending a bit of money here and there to drive the mission forward is worth it. Don’t be pennywise and pound foolish. The mission here of course is graduating PA school and having enough retained knowledge to pass the PANCE exam.

I’m still working on overcoming some of these built-in mindsets and that’s one of them.

Half-way, Quarter-way, Some-way

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Most of the members of my PA school cohort are in a group chat. It was in this chat I received one of the better messages lately: “Today marks the halfway point of our didactic year!!” Now, this is a two year program, so it also marks approximately the one-quarter mark of our progress (the schedule for the clinical year is a bit more complex). In either case, it was a nice landmark to reach, especially considering that in 9 days we had 5 tests. And of that 9 days, 2 were the weekend. Of the 5 tests, 3 were, at least for me, particularly difficult. I passed all of them, one just barely. So it’s fair to say it’s been a particularly stressful part of the semester. Now it’s Friday night and I’m relaxing and starting to plan out how to finish up the rest of the semester.

I mentioned in a previous post about life being on hold. And often I still feel that way. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I have doubts about continuing on for the next half or three-quarters. It’s not about the grades. While I’d like to be doing a bit better, the truth is, based on what my professors tell me and what I’ve read, I’m well prepared for my clinicals next year and for eventually passing the PANCE. I rarely have doubts about my ability to get where I want to go.

What I wonder at times is a more existential question: Is it worth it? I’ve reflected upon this a bit in the past. I’ll be 59 by the time I become a PA. I know I’m going to enjoy it. But, for how long will I enjoy it? How long do I need to enjoy it to make two years of my life and over a $100,000 worth it? In terms of economic investment, while I haven’t done the math, I think if I had simply continued as an ED Tech for these two years and then three additional years and retired at 62 I’d be better off financially. In terms of time committed to something, I certainly could have worked far fewer hours in IT than the time I’m spending in school or as an ED Tech and come out ahead financially and in terms of leisure time.

So, unlike my classmates, who statistically will spend much of their career as a PA, I’ll spend perhaps 10 years as one. In terms of finances, it’s probably not the greatest career choice this late in life. In terms of work-life balance, at least for two years, it’s definitely not a great choice. I have no real work-life balance for now.

But you know what? Even with those doubts, I’m still confident I’m on the right course. I really enjoy medicine. While sometimes I’m frustrated, especially about pharmacy, I enjoy what I’m learning. I enjoy the problem solving that goes into making a diagnosis. I enjoy the work I know that will be involved. It will be worth it.

I’ll have my doubts at times. I’ll have the exams I’m sure I’m about to fail and I might even fail one or two (several professors have told me, “everyone fails at least one exam in PA school, I did.”). But I’ll get there. I’m half-way through the didactic year and about one quarter of the way through the whole process. Some way, I’ll finish it and be able to add PA-C after my name. I can’t wait.

The Dude Doesn’t Abide…

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I also don’t hate The Eagles. But they were on my mind this morning.

I was putting my contacts in when I realized the t-shirt I was wearing was from an event in 2011. That was 14 years ago. 2011 was a pivotal year for me. It’s when I semi-voluntarily left the job I had had in Washington DC for 4.5 years. I spent some time trying to decide what to do next and came up with the idea for QuiCR. It never became what I wanted, but I learned a lot about myself through that experience.

14 years though I realized was both a long time ago and a time that seems so near. I have a hard time comprehending that so many years have passed since then but also so seemingly quickly.

So what has this got to do with The Eagles? For some reason I have distinct memories of being in art-class in elementary school and drawing while Fly Like an Eagle was playing in the background and the line “Time keeps on slipping into the future” sticks in my mind. Now you’re probably thinking, “but Greg, that’s the Steve Miller Band” and you’d be right. But excuse me if my brain conflated the title of the song with the band The Eagles and hence we’re here.

Time keeps on slipping into the future and I can’t abide that. I’ve mentioned before how I feel a bit dichotomous about my age.

Ironically, one could argue that time slipped back an hour last night, but in reality that’s only our marking of time. Time itself still slipped into the future.

So I sit here, trying to gather thoughts into a coherent blog post, when I know I should be studying for this week’s tests (another pharm one, my 3rd, fortunately my second was even better than my first, so it looks like I’ll do ok in this class) as time continues to slip into the future.

I can’t abide it because there’s so much I want to do and realizing so little time left to do it.

So please, someone discover the fountain of youth. (or even the fountain of yutes).