Shared Pain

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For this post I’m going to do something a bit different, I’m not going to talk about only my experiences, but also that of two friends, one I’ve known for years and lives further away, and another for just over a year and lives closer, we met in a class together and now have taken two classes two together and work at the same hospital (though literally at opposite ends of the complex.)

We all share one thing in common: we are all in the midst of applying for PA School.

Due to where we live and ultimate life goals, we all share some overlap in schools we’re applying for, but also there’s a number of schools we’re applying to that we don’t have in common.

All three of us have our first choice. In all three of our cases, it’s in part geographically driven; being close to home would keep expenses down, it would mean we’d have our support systems close by, and the choice itself is a fairly highly rated school, i.e. we’re not really compromising our choice.

Alas, I think for two of us, if not all three, the answer for our first choice has been a no. That’s always frustrating. One of my second highest rated choices gave me a no yesterday. My friend who lives closer is still waiting to hear from them, so I’m rooting for her.

My other friend, just heard from the same online program that rejected me a few weeks ago. I can’t speak for her, other than we both share the same frustration, but I know for me, while it would have been a good program, I’m sort of relieved. I’m not entirely sold on the idea of an online program. Yes, they have weeks where you’re required to be on-campus, but overall, most of it’s virtual. My recent experiences have taught me I can handle virtual learning, but even then, I don’t think the learning experience is nearly as good and in a case like PA School, I think the collaboration is much harder and would impact my learning experience. So, perhaps that rejection was a blessing in disguise.

As I said above, in some cases I’m applying to the same schools as my friends (as far as I know, there’s no school all three of us have in common). This means of the few slots at all these schools, I’m actually in competition for a seat with someone I know. Now, in an ideal world, we would both get into the same program. I know I’d really love this as it would mean I’d have a ready-made study partner. But, at the same token, there is also the possibility only one of us gets in. And while it might hurt a bit to know I didn’t get in, the truth is, honestly, I’d be THRILLED to hear from either one of them if they got in to a school I had also applied to. To borrow a term, it would be a form of compersion.

One thing I know all three of us have been told is that often it takes multiple “rounds” (read years) of applying to get into PA School. This can be very frustrating. For those who aren’t aware, PA programs are masters level programs and most schools have cohort sizes varying from two dozen to perhaps five or six dozen. Most appear to be on the smaller size. And often they’re getting thousands of applicants. My first choice often fields over three thousand applicants for a total of forty-two slots. This means that if it were just a random chance, an applicant would have about a 1.5% chance of getting in. Obviously it’s not random, so they have to take into a lot of factors, one of course being “if we give you one of the few spots, how serious are you about taking full advantage of it.” This is why applying more than once can increase your odds, you’ve shown you really want that spot. In fact, looking around, I see anywhere from only 20% of first time applications to 37% overall, get in in a particular year. That can be a bit discouraging.

I won’t say I’m resigned to applying for a second round, but the truth is, unless I get accepted at one of my top choice programs and get some decent money, I will probably end up applying again. This means there’s one or two schools that even if they accepted me, I’m no longer sure I’d be interested in them for various reasons, and there are some that I’d jump at a chance to go to if I were accepted, but I’d have to get some good scholarship money to make them worthwhile.

I think my odds of getting in on a second round would be better for several reasons.

  • Rather than being just above the minimum number of patient contact hours necessary to apply, I’ll end up well above their stated averages (for example, my first choice has a minimum of 1000 hours, but an average of 2300 hours. I should be well above that by the time I apply again.)
  • I’ll have a few more classes under my belt, this will overall help my transcript and should raise my GPA (not above the necessary 3.0 that some schools claim they require).
  • As per above, I’ll be showing I really am serious about attending and working hard at the program (I know that, I simply need to convince them.)
  • I’ll understand the process better and be able to make some changes to my application process (things like when I apply, some of my essay answers, etc.)
  • I will most likely have some better letters of reference.

In addition, there are some other advantages of waiting another year:

  • I can build up a bit more savings to cover more of the costs.
  • I have some events next year that will be easier to attend or manage if I’m not also studying.

If it doesn’t happen this time around, I can’t speak for my friends, I think one may move on to other goals, the other, I suspect if necessary would give it another shot, so there’s still a chance we’d end up in a program together.

That said, I’m still hoping for the lightning to strike for myself and my two friends in this round.

In any case, we all will know our fates over the coming weeks. I’m keeping my finger crossed.

I get a No, I get a No, and I get another No.

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As I mentioned in a previous post, one can’t hear a yes if you don’t try.

So far I’ve heard back from three of the PA schools I’ve applied to (out of close to a dozen now).

The first I’ll be honest probably hurt the most. This was in part because it was the first. It’s tough getting your first rejection. It does get a bit easier. But that wasn’t the main reason it hurt. The main reason was because it was one of the few schools that doesn’t absolutely require a 3.0 undergrad GPA. It was at or near the top of my list of schools I wanted to get into. I was hoping at the very least to get to the interview stage because if I did, I felt very confident I could sell myself at that point. But alas, not even that is happening at that school. However, if I don’t end up at a PA school in this round, I will definitely re-apply next year. They’re fairly competitive and by then I’ll have well above the average number of required patient contact hours and I’ll have some more classes under my belt and they look favorably at folks who try again. So we’ll see.

I honestly felt more insulted by the second rejection. It wasn’t exactly a long-shot, but it was a mostly online program which I’m not entirely sold on, but they school itself has an excellent reputation. The reason for insult wasn’t the rejection per se, it was the email. I applied at 11:30 PM. At 9:30 AM the next morning I received the rejection letter. My guess is I automatically tripped their minimum GPA requirement. That’s fine. It was some of the wording in the email:

This decision was very difficult, and every consideration was given to your application.

Given no one got in until probably 9:00 AM for the workday, I have to wonder how difficult the decision really was and how much consideration they really gave me!

The third rejection actually was the most honest and as a result, I appreciated the most:

School requires a minimum 3.0 for the overall GPA and science GPA. Unfortunately, one or both of your GPAs, as calculated by CASPA at time of application, did not meet this minimum requirement

Hey, that at least was honest and clear and no pulling of the punches. I’m fine with that. I mean I knew beforehand I would almost certainly get rejected based on my GPA, but this left no doubt. It also means I will leave them off my list for the next round if there is a second round of applications. I’m fine with that. It’ll save me $61.

Ironically however, the last two emails actually give me a bit of hope. Most of the schools I’ve applied to have a 3.0 GPA cut-off, but I haven’t heard from them yet. This means my application apparently hasn’t tripped any automatic “GPA Cut-off” filters. That’s hopeful.

Now, I still expect most if not all of the remaining ones to reject me this round, but there’s still hope.

So the record it’s NO: 3, YES: 0 and Hopeful: quite a few.

We’ll see.

Summer is almost over

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Just a reminder!

Sadly, I have to admit I haven’t done many of the things I wanted to do this summer, work has consumed my time. I still hope to find time to do an overnight hike, but I’m not sure when I’d do it. And honestly, I’d need to find time to buy some new hiking shoes first too.

I’m a bit behind on my biking and today it’s not great weather for it. So that’s bugging me.

I finally mowed the lawn yesterday, but it was so high, I had to put the blade higher than I normally do simply so it wouldn’t bind up on all that grass. So I have to find time again to mow it.

There’s a piece of trim on my garage door I need to find the time (and let’s be honest motivation) to fix.

Can we extend summer another 2-3 months please?

If you don’t try, you can’t fail

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As of today, I’ve hit submit on the applications to 5 different PA schools. There are at least a half-dozen more on my list I’d like to hit submit to, but probably won’t. I’ll explain why in a few.

But let me say, the first was the hardest. There are two reasons. The first is that it’s my first choice. I wanted to make sure everything was in order. I proofread everything multiple times and had at least two others review my submissions for content and for grammar errors. Once I felt those had been handled, I was ready.

Except, for the hardest part: I couldn’t be denied if I didn’t apply. I mean that is sort of obvious. But it’s true. Up until that point there was no way that school (or any) could say no. Sure, they also couldn’t say yes either. But the yes doesn’t really scare me and if I hear a yes, I can shout to the world “I’m accepted”. But the nos… those are hard to hear.

Years ago, when I was in college, before I really started dating I was afraid to ask a woman out on a date. I didn’t want to hear no. No would be soul-crushing. But then I realized that it also meant I’d never hear yes.

So, one day I screwed up my courage and asked a woman I was attracted to if perhaps I could make her dinner. And she said yes! I can’t recall the dinner, but I recall afterwards we ended up on the couch cuddling and falling asleep. Afterwards I walked her back to campus. I recall that in part because my contacts had dried out so much from napping in them that the streetlights appeared as sort of halos until the moisture returned.

That particular relationship didn’t last, but it did reinforce the lesson that to hear yes, you have to risk hearing no.

And so, I can’t hear yes from any PA school if I don’t risk hearing no, even from my primary choice.

After hitting submission on that first one, the next one that night was far easier. Then last night, I hit submit on three more.

Now, why do I hesitate on the rest? Well because in most cases they have a firm undergrad GPA requirement which I fail to meet by a wide margin. At least two I’ve emailed directly to confirm and have received a very clear response that the GPA requirement is a hard limit.

I’ve received a lot of support here and on Facebook in my quest and many have said, “Oh, don’t worry about your GPA, trust me, your life experiences will counter that.” And for the five I’ve applied to, I hope and expect that’s true. But for the others, I’m less sure, especially the ones that have replied to my email inquiries.

That said, this is actually another reason I didn’t want to hear no. I’ve got such a huge crowd of cheerleaders that I don’t want to disappoint them or even honestly face them if every school says no. While I appreciate the support, and at times I need it, I also fear at the end of the day it may all be for naught and I’ll feel guilty for raising their hopes.

But that’s a problem that may not arise, and if it does, is for another day.

So for now, I keep looking and considering what the next schools I will apply to.

In the meantime, I will risk the nos, while hoping for the yes.

Still Running

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Last week I wrote about my PA School application process and the CASPA site used to apply. Since I wrote that, I’ve made more progress. I am technically at the point where I could hit “send” on 8 applications. But I haven’t. Yet.

And it’s a good thing! Since this is so important, I wanted to make sure I had others proof-read some of my submissions and comment on them. So first a call out to my wife Randi who gave me some good feedback on the general tone. One of my concerns was my general essay. The general essay answers the question: Please explain why you are interested in being a Physician Assistant.

I had written two versions and felt my second one was much stronger, she agreed. The best way I can describe my first one was that it was very pedestrian. The second one I think far better reflects why at this point in my life I want to be a PA. I think I’ve said it before, but in case I haven’t, I will here: To make a difference. Yes, I suspect everyone wants that, but after 30+ years of basically pushing data, I want to have a direct impact on people’s lives. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much it motivates me. It’s one reason I work with the NCRC and teach cave rescue (and perform cave rescues). It’s a direct impact. It’s a reason why I like teaching. Even now, before I’m a PA, every shift in the ED I know I’m making a difference. It might be getting a cold patient a blanket or assisting in a trauma, but I know at the end of every shift, I’ve made a difference.

The second call out is to my friend Alma. I’ve relied on her for years (I won’t say how long as that might give insight into how old we both are) for her editing prowess. I’m thankful I did so since she caught a number of minor typos, but also a major one that at best would have elicited some laugh, at worst, doomed me. I had meant to say underserved communities, but had written undeserving communities. Quite the difference!

So, does that mean I’ll hit submit today to those 8 schools?

Not quite. I have to reload my edits and then still review the submissions and decide if I really want to apply to those 8 or just a subset. In any case though, come this weekend I think I’ll be hitting submit and I’ll admit I’m excited.

Running to Stand Still

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To apply to PA School, one uses a common application called CASPA. Pretty much every PA school uses this platform for their applications. They also, for the most part follow a similar timeline, of allowing the application process to start on May 1st. My goal had been to have as much completed as I could by May 2nd, or barring that, May 31st. Well here it is June 20th and I’m still working on it.

It’s not for the lack of effort. Even though I finished up the prior semester, I was busy with a lot of other stuff and found myself travelling or working every weekend in May and the first two weekends in June. Between consulting and working in the ED work, I often find myself working 60 or more hours a week. So it’s not like I’ve been lazy.

Now, that said, many of the hours in the ED are actually hours I’m picking up to gain the experience and to expand the numbers on my applications. As noted previously, some schools only require 500 hours but a few require 1000 hours. A number I surpassed a while back. But that’s a minimum, and often below the average. So I definitely want to boost it.

I was actually planning on going in last night for an extra 8 hour shift, but finally convinced myself to slow down and take the night off from work. Or at least from paying work. I did end up, as I had promised myself, working on my application and knocking out some essays. As a result, if I submit the essays as written, I am fully complete with applications to two schools. That said I will be waiting a few more days so I can review the essays and possibly improve them.

And I also now have to consider, in order to apply to a few schools that might be on my list, if I want to take Genetics come fall. And possibly a Medical Terminology course. Most that require that will allow a certificate program, but at least one school wants a 2 credit minimum class. And I’ll be honest, that particular school is not high on my list of schools I’m considering.

But meanwhile, I feel like the Red Queen in Through the Looking Glass, “Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

I’m running as fast as I can.

Why I March and Engage

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I’ve been “online” since the fall of 1985 when I first encountered one of the earliest “chat” programs at my alma mater. It was known as CB (like the radios popular in the day) and only was accessible by fellow students. It was a few more years before I gained access to the Internet. Back then it was still basically just academics. But even then it was easy to find the trolls, bigots, racists, and more. And it was as easy to both engage with them and ignore them.

I learned pretty early on that often engaging them did not change their minds. Such is still true today.

And yet, I still do at times. People have asked me “Why are you wasting your time?”

There are two reasons, one relevant to this post, the other less so. The one less so is at times it can be amusing in its own way. The relevant one is because I’m not necessarily trying to change their minds (though there is still that hope and sometimes it works.)

The reason I engage is because I can. Because it’s a case where sometimes I can use my privilege in a good way. Because I can ideally show those who are being attacked, shamed, or hurt that “hey someone is on your side.”

Hence, this is why in a huge part I choose to march with my employer Albany Medical Health System in the recent Pride Parade in Albany. I want people to know they “hey, you’re not alone.” This was driven home when I overheard two of my coworkers discussing some recent Supreme Court decisions and how they feared those and possible future ones might impact their lives.

Yes, it’s true that marching in a pride parade is much like preaching to the choir, pretty much everyone there is already supportive of equal rights for the LGBTQ+ community, but it’s always possible there’s those who aren’t, or those who are on the fence.

Now, I honestly don’t know the sexualities of my coworkers that I marched with. Nor is it important. What is important is standing up and saying, “I’m with you, you’re not alone.”

Disclaimer: As always, I speak for myself, not my employer, Albany Medical Health Systems and these opinions are my own. That said, since they organized our participation and provided shirts, you can read into that what you will.

The End of the Semester and the Start of the Next

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Looking at my notes, apparently I didn’t blog at all during May. I suppose I was busier than I thought. But I figured it was time for another quick update on “Greg’s journey to apply to PA School.”

First, the spring semester of 2023 is in the books. Biochem, Writing, and Stats all complete. Biochem was definitely the most interesting and best of the classes. Stats was delivered at a 100 level and was basic enough I could skip the study seasons and still take the exams without much studying. With the homework bonus (which actually was quite helpful) she gave, technically my grade was 100+. What’s the odds of that? 100% I can tell you since it’s a past event that happened. This was the only class that had an in-person component and it was at 9:00 AM four days a week. It was just useful enough to tie the notes to the concepts that I made a point of attending. As noted, I did tend to skip the review classes, except for the last two exams, where I actually took the exam during the review session as it fit my schedule better.

Writing was hit or miss. It was all online and honestly, little feedback from the instructor, so I’m not entirely sure if I got much out of it. But as most programs want some sort of writing intensive class, it was necessary to take.

The Biochem class was all online and one of the few times in my academic career I actually went to office hours for help. After asking me exactly how long ago I had taken the chemistry pre-req and commenting that they really expected it to be within the past few years, not 35+ years ago, I was even more incentivized to do well.

The professor honestly, had put together one of the best online setups I’d seen, taking good advantage of the tools Blackboard offered. A few of my previous online classes were basically “here’s a lecture, listen and that’s about it.” One was even simply “here’s the Powerpoints, good luck figuring out what’s relevant and what’s not when it comes time to take the test.” In this case however, she had study guides, required participation in an online discussion and made use of online study quizzes to help reinforce the material. In fact you couldn’t move onto the next module until you had taken the quizzes, tests and exams for the previous material. This last detail did munge me up a bit at the very end when I was prepared to take the final but couldn’t see my grade for the previous exam yet (the grades wouldn’t show until after midnight on a specific day so that everyone had a chance of taking the exam without cheating off someone else taking it earlier).

I also had a study partner that I had met during Organic Chemistry last summer that works at AMC with me, so we were able to take advantage of the study rooms in the AMC school library and help each other with homework and studying.

Besides being well designed and run, it was also the most interesting class, as we got to delve fairly deep into some of the biological-chemistry pathways that occur in us. It was pretty interesting to see stuff to that detail rather than simply stuff like “and then Acetyl-CoA enters the Krebs cycle”. Now we got to learn exactly how and why that happens. Trust me, it’s pretty damn cool!

After classes were over, I was prepared to take a little over a week to teach the annual Weeklong Cave Rescue class I teach. Unfortunately my largest client had a major upgrade the weekend before that went sideways, exactly for a reason I had predicted. So rather than leaving town Wednesday night after work with a buddy of mine, I ended up working on the issue for much of the week and finally leaving Friday morning and having to drive all by myself to Alabama. This led to a definite lack of sleep. And even then I had to deal with some work issues. And finally a drive home by myself and then another shift in the ED.

Finally Memorial Day weekend I spent with some friends at an annual retreat of sorts.

And now, I’ve started my last planned prereq, MicroBiology. Ironically this was the last class (and last final) I took for my original undergrad degree, but at the time I didn’t pay for lab, despite ending up taking it at the professor’s insistence anyway. So ironically it appears it’ll be the last exam before PA school, unless I decide on my own to take more this fall.

So that’s the update from here. Now back to work (after the second night in a row of working until 3:30 AM).

1000

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Work and school have conspired to use up my time, so I’ve been blogging less often. But I wanted to make a point of blogging this week because I’ve reached an unofficial milestone.

Over the weekend I reached my unofficial 1000 hour mark as an ED Tech.

I say unofficially because I’m using a fairly conservative method of counting it and officially, I reached it close to two weeks ago. So why am I counting my number, that came later, rather than the earlier number? Because this one is more meaningful to me and gives me more of a margin for counting.

Officially, by the timeclock, I reached 1000 hours over two weeks ago. However, this time included by 24 hours of initial classroom orientation and the time to get my CPR recertified and some other training where I wasn’t even in the Emergency Department.

The other factor, was that officially, many of my shifts have been 8.5 hours, with .5 reserved for lunch. However, due to staffing shortages, often many of us techs will work through our meals (and swipe the timeclock for that, guaranteeing we get paid for that time). But it was simply easier for me to ignore those “worked through meals” and only count an 8 or 12 hour shift as 8 or 12 hours, not 8.5 or 12.5 hours.

So, I simply tracked time I was actually in the Emergency Department.

Now I’d like to say that when I hit my unofficial 1000 hour mark I was doing something exciting like working a trauma or even something routine like taking an EKG. However, the truth is, I was sitting at a desk going over some study materials. I was working what’s known as the “BB-Short Stay”. Generally when working here, there’s very little to do (I think I did 18 sets of vitals in 8 hours, and one bed change. But, that’s the nature of the job sometimes.) Fortunately, my next 4 hours of that shift was back in the main area of the Emergency Department and I was able to be more active.

That’s not to say I didn’t celebrate a bit:

Me celebrating 1000 hours with overpriced sushi

So, a final note, the reason for the 1000 hour celebration, is that a number of the schools I’m applying to require a minimum of 1000 “patient contact hours” (one only requires 500 hours and another 750 hours) and now I’ve met that! That’s why I don’t count the classroom orientation or the like because that’s technically didn’t involve any patient contact.

At this point, I can start applying, despite a few classes this semester pending final grades and for most schools, needing to take Microbiology, which I’m doing over the summer.

But this was the single biggest hurdle that I had the least control over. For classes, I could simply sign up. However for the patient contact hours, I had to first get a job, ideally in a place that gave me more contact than simply “taking a set of vitals now and then” and then gain enough hours. Officially my job is only 24 hours a week and I started in late October. Fortunately I’ve been able to pick up a lot of extra hours, hence hitting my 1000 hour mark in only 6 months. My hope of course is that my 1000+ hours of patient contact in an Emergency Department stands out compared to say someone who has only had 1000+ hours in say a medical office where they’re simply taking vitals.

So this bridge crossed!

Slowly but surely getting there.

Standard Disclaimer: nothing here represents any official policy or action of my employee Albany Medical Health Systems and I do not speak for them in any capacity or in any way.

The Value of DR Testing

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Just a short blog post today since I’m actually in the middle of a call with a client as we test our failover scenario.

Right now I’m calling it a success even though the SQL Server hasn’t come up yet.

Why am I calling it a success? Because we learned that our current plan has a serious gaping hole concerning how the iSCSI drives failover. Yes, technically we failed to failover as quickly as we expected.

But, we’ve learned that before this system went into production. So that’s a success. This raises our confidence level for next time.

In all honesty, we often learn more from our failures from our successes. For example, before NASA would allow SpaceX to fly a crew on Crew Dragon, they required several abort tests, one of which involved launching a Falcon 9 and then in mid-flight firing the Crew Dragon abort engines. This resulted in the destruction of the Falcon 9 (which was expected) but proved the abort plans worked. Note however that for Orion on Artemis, NASA has decided such a test is not necessary. The decision making process behind this particular decision is worthy of a blog of its own.

In any case, with the current DR test, we expect to have things finally failed over in the next hour or two. Then we’ll update our playbook and have a lot more confidence.

Moral of your story: test your DR. Assume things will go wrong the first time because they will, but far better to have that before you go to production. This is not the first time I’ve had a failover not go as planned, but prior to production.